Cultural Perspectives
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The other night I was talking with a friend about different cultures and perspectives.

It started because we had been in a resturant and when the table next to us heard us speaking English, they leaned over and started a conversation. The ladies at that table were all Hungarian. One was an artist who lives in Hungary and another was her agent who lives and works in the Netherlands. They started talking about the changes in Hungary over the last two years and gave their viewpoints of how they had witnessed the Hungarian mentality changing. As one who is not from this culture, I am always interested in hearing what Hungarians say about themselves. It often helps me gain a better understanding of the things that I see or deal with on a daily basis.

This led to an after dinner discusion with my friend about American culture and some of the things that are applauded in American society that impact our own lives in ways that we often don't immediately realize.

Later I saw this article and thought it's comments were interesting in light of my recent discussion. I am only sharing part of the article here. Click on the title to see the entire article on the New York Times page.

Unhappy? Self-Critical? Maybe You’re Just a Perfectionist
By BENEDICT CAREY
Published: December 4, 2007

Just about any sports movie, airport paperback or motivational tape delivers a few boilerplate rules for success. Believe in yourself. Don’t take no for an answer. Never quit. Don’t accept second best.

Above all, be true to yourself.

It’s hard to argue with those maxims. They seem self-evident — if not written into the Constitution, then at least part of the cultural water supply that irrigates everything from halftime speeches to corporate lectures to SAT coaching classes.

Yet several recent studies stand as a warning against taking the platitudes of achievement too seriously. The new research focuses on a familiar type, perfectionists, who panic or blow a fuse when things don’t turn out just so. The findings not only confirm that such purists are often at risk for mental distress — as Freud, Alfred Adler and countless exasperated parents have long predicted — but also suggest that perfectionism is a valuable lens through which to understand a variety of seemingly unrelated mental difficulties, from depression to compulsive behavior to addiction.

Some researchers divide perfectionists into three types, based on answers to standardized questionnaires: Self-oriented strivers who struggle to live up to their high standards and appear to be at risk of self-critical depression; outwardly focused zealots who expect perfection from others, often ruining relationships; and those desperate to live up to an ideal they’re convinced others expect of them, a risk factor for suicidal thinking and eating disorders.

“It’s natural for people to want to be perfect in a few things, say in their job — being a good editor or surgeon depends on not making mistakes,” said Gordon L. Flett, a psychology professor at York University and an author of many of the studies. “It’s when it generalizes to other areas of life, home life, appearance, hobbies, that you begin to see real problems.”

Unlike people given psychiatric labels, however, perfectionists neither battle stigma nor consider themselves to be somehow dysfunctional. On the contrary, said Alice Provost, an employee assistance counselor at the University of California, Davis, who recently ran group therapy for staff members struggling with perfectionist impulses. “They’re very proud of it,” she said. “And the culture highly values and reinforces their attitudes.”