Things that define

We all have things that define us. Some of them we didn’t have a choice in…who your family was, what country you were born in, physical limitations or advantages, the perceptions of others, etc. But some things we do have a choice in. What we become, what we like, who are friends are, what hobbies we pursue, banker, author, musician, waitress, etc. These are things that we use to define us.

Some of the things that define me… American, English speaker, lover of nature, “country girl” who prefers jeans and boots but still loves jewelry, seeker of wide open spaces, crazy about horses, cherisher of solitude, cat lover, photographer, singer, a fan of acoustic guitar and hammer dulcimer, renewed by wilderness, enthralled by books and the list goes on.

Then there comes a time in life where we may, for one reason or another, have to give up the things that we have chosen to define us. And that is tough. It is hard to sell the horse you can’t afford, move to the city when you’d rather live a thousand miles from anywhere, move to another country where you set aside your nationality/culture and language for another one. You take a different job than the one you hoped for, you live in a different place than you would want, you may not be a mother or a wife when you want to, you may not be physically able to pursue your dreams, things aren’t all you imagine that they could be and you try to blend in, adapt, adjust. Then, you have to start looking for definitions of self that are beyond the superficial.

I guess many people would consider me pretty adjustable. I’ve lived in a number of different places. I’ve had jobs that are as different from each other as night and day. But, honestly, sometimes it makes me sad when I feel like I am slowly letting go of the things that have in some way or another defined my life. Oh, I’m still and American and always will be, but I’m actively trying to blend into another culture. And I’m still a county girl at heart even though I live in the center of a city of two million people. But the outward things that I would choose to define who I feel like I am are far away and removed from the reality of where I am now.

The thing I have to remember, the thing that is hard to wrap my mind around is that in truth none of these things define me. I might want to be defined by them but the only thing that really defines me is my relationship with Jesus Christ. He defines me.

I am a sinner. I am forgiven because of the blood of Christ. I am accepted. I am loved. I am a child of the King, a cherished daughter. I have a purpose within His perfect plan. I have eternity in my heart and will always be longing for something beyond my reach. I have a home waiting for me where everything will be made right and Christ will reign. I could go on for pages and pages and pages with all of the Biblical definitions of who I really am.

The challenge is letting Christ be my definition when I can’t be exactly the woman I would choose to be on this earth. He defines me and I am learning, struggling, wrestling with the truth that His definition is the only one that is really real and that His definition is enough.